wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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