I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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