was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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