Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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