I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
