A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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