that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
