idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
that's an acceptable place to lick
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i dont even know how to be here
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
