i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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