We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
