he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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