Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
