So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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