in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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