I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
