The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
