What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
