had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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