don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
