I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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