no. you can't hotbox the world.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
