What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Randomize
