bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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