So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
