Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
