All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
