just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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