one might say we're banned from that church
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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