No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
