Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
