I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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