I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
