help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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