Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
My dick has a subreddit
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
