trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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