Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
