Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
