he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
