i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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