I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
