imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
