.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
