I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
