they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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