they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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