FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
