Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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