never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
