I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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