if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
